She had a fierce intelligence in her eyes which was not apparent in her behavior or speech. When you looked into those sparkling, bluish-grey orbs, you couldn’t help get the impression that she had something clever to say. She did not.

And when she favored you with a smile, you got the reassuring feeling that she understood. She didn’t. Not a clue. It was only much later you realized that her wry, knowing grin was something she unconsciously did when she was suppressing gas.

Oh, and her touch. The way she held your arm, or delicately draped a hand on your shoulder. That simple gesture made you feel loved, made you feel as if the two of you were connected on the most intimate level. Well, turns out, that was just her way of keeping her balance while wearing six inch stiletto heels.

And the worst part was you didn’t care. The illusion was good enough. As long as she didn’t talk, fart or fall on her ass, you were a happy man.

Here’s my horror story about switching to Rogers from Fido (aka Rogers) today.

The situation

Rogers (and all the other carriers) had a great promotion that was going on and I wanted to take advantage of, and consolidate my monthly bills (iPhone + iPad) in the process. 

Since I am a free agent without a contract, I looked into all the major carriers (Rogers, Fido, Telus, Koodo, etc) and found that Koodo (who’s owned by Telus) had the best plan, however, they did not offer data sharing between devices. In fact, the only carrier who allowed data sharing between devices on their promo plan was Rogers. And even switching to this new plan with Rogers would cut my monthly telco bill by one-quarter!

So I attempt to make the jump between two evils!

What happened?

When explaining my situation, I was told that I would have to pay a $50 fee at Fido if I wan’t to unlock my phone for it to work on the Rogers network (I’m waiting for the next iPhone before getting a new one). But that would be the only charge.

I called Rogers and they told me that I’d have to pay a $35 activation fee that “covers the cost of a sim card” Yes, that’s right, an inch-long piece of plastic that I’m supposed to believe costs $35 to produce in volume.

So $85 in total switching costs? Not too bad, right?

I pay the various fees, but when I’m at the Rogers store to finally link my accounts and port the number over from Fido, I’m told that Fido is going to charge me for another, additional 30 days worth of (un-rendered, I might add) service, since I didn’t give them 30 days notice for canceling my account. I asked them if it’s possible to give 30 days notice, and they said no it’s not, and that you can only give the 30 days notice after porting out your number. Therefore, it is only possible if you are fine without phone service for at least a month.

I skeptically told them to proceed.

While the store rep was on the phone with Rogers Support, I asked her if they could waive the last payment on the Fido account (since I’ve been a long time customer) or the registration fee, since I’m moving to another Roger brand. They said “we’re not the same company, so unfortunately we can’t do that. It’s different management and a different infrastructure.”

So I told them I simply wasn’t going to pay the additional 30 days of un-rendered service, and they said “we’re the same company and we’ll shut off your service at Rogers.”

Literally five minutes between these contradicting statements with THE SAME REP!

Bottom line: the Rogers monster is fueled by hypocritical policies that always work in their favor. The House always wins.